Consent and respect

Consent is a clear yes, freely given. It applies to everything: swapping numbers, sending pictures, meeting, touching and sex. Murudo's rules require members to respect consent and boundaries, and you can report anyone who does not.

The basics

• Yes means a clear yes. Silence, "maybe" or going along quietly is not a yes. If you are not sure, ask.
• A yes can be withdrawn. A yes yesterday, or five minutes ago, is not a yes now. Anyone can change their mind at any point.
• Pressure is not consent. Asking again and again, guilt, sulking, threats or "after what I spent on you" do not turn a no into a yes.
• A yes to one thing is not a yes to the next. Matching is not agreeing to meet. Meeting is not agreeing to anything physical. Paying for a meal or transport buys nothing.
• Some people cannot give consent. Someone who is very drunk, asleep or afraid has not agreed.
• Not replying is an answer. If someone stops responding, leave it there. Do not keep messaging, and do not look for them on other apps.
• Pictures need consent too. Do not send sexual pictures that nobody asked for, and never share someone else's private pictures or messages.

If someone ignores your no

You do not owe anyone an explanation, a second chance or a polite goodbye.

• In a chat, stop replying. Report them and then block them. See Harassment and unwanted messages.
• On a date, leave. Go to where other people are and contact someone you trust.
• If something happened in person, read Report something that happened on a date.
• If you are in danger, contact your local emergency services.

If someone tells you that you crossed a line

Stop. Say sorry once, and give them space. Do not argue about whether they should feel that way.

What the rules say

Murudo's Community Guidelines ask every member to be respectful: no harassment, threats or bullying, no sexual coercion, and respect for consent and boundaries in messages and in person. Breaking them can lead to a suspension or a ban. Read The Murudo rules in plain words.